I never really got guilt – I always got guilt in an analytical, legal definition kind of way- but never on an emotional level. But tonight I really understand what “being riddled with guilt” means. Suddenly getting in a fight and pummeling a man (a good friend too) feels like a permanent blemish on my soul. I regret the whole thing with the whole of my body. If it was possible to travel back in time and change it – I would. I remember the vicious feeling running through me at the time, and suddenly it seems so monstrous. Tonight I am guilty – and I cant do anything about it…

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