A couple of people have asked me who the old school Ka$h is. And I’ve had to ask myself who the real me is. A name is such an important thing – it categorizes, it places, it defines something, or in this case, someone. In my life I’ve gone by a handful of names and these different names have always helped bring forward a part of my personality I needed to survive or succeed in that moment.
For the last little while, I’ve been trying to be a person named Pragash; a civilized man; a man trying to meet Tamil culture with the piece of shit ghetto he grew up in; the type that was cool with being poor but wanted to be rich; a person who has had his head screwed on right, someone slowly but certainly struggling up the ladder of life; a person who demanded the best from you, because he only saw the best in you; someone who always tried to forgive and forget; the type of person who is an asset to his family and friends, always trying to raise them up; someone who is as much concerned with the future as the present; someone who has had a plan, someone following a life map with the aid of some moral compass; the type of person who tried not to get mad; the type that tried to follow the philosophy of the Bible, Tirrukural, Kant, Ghandi, and Martin Luther King jr.
And right now – that’s simply too hard, na kinda tired of playing the hero, when I just wanna make that money-power-respect. I feel like I have to be that person I once was – Ka$h.
So who is that person Ka$h and why am I returning to him just now? Well Ka$h is the unadulterated truth; someone living in the now and here – not for some tomorrow that might never come; someone who accepts that it’s a mad mad world, and that in a world like that its okay to be mad; the type of person that understands rules are meant to be broken; the type of person who would say shit like it is and not care what you felt; and the type of person who didn’t really care about anyones feelings; a lone ass nigga who didn’t feel lonely; a person who didn’t expect you to be better then your circumstances simply because he wasn’t going to try to be better then his circumstance; a man who expected girls not to be virgins, and didn’t care about girls enough to call them whores; a nigga who was fair simply because he didn’t expect any better from himself; the type that got hit by cars and still walked away laughing it and thinking about the future settlement; the type who liked the scars cause their more badass then a tattoo; the type that was alway happy simply because shit wasn’t ever really worth being sad about; the type that drank as much as he wanted, smoked as much as he wanted; and still never got drunk out cause he knew he wasn’t gonna be carried home; but was the nigga that always carried people home; the man who didn’t believe in love, but was cool with the sex; the type of person whose philosophy was taught be 2pac and Biggie….
and theres more to say but I dont give enough of a Fuck to say it, and I just want to drink this expensive ass scotch – but I curious to hear what you gotta say just to hear another voice