I feel deeply anxious tonight. I feel as if many, many, many things hang in the balance. It sounds so melodramatic, it feels as if I am being melodramatic, but that’s little consolation because many things do actually hang in the balance tonight. By tomorrow I will know how a big portion of my life will turn out; I will either find out that I got the things I want or if it’s time to rebuild and recreate myself with a whole new vision. I do not want to start over and rebuild and re-choose, a process that’s so painful. Everything will work out, they always do, but I pray that things will work out the way I want them to, God willing, because it really is up to him.

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