#vindication I’ve always only wanted to be a beach bum and landing the urban equivalent of community activist. Hugs, highfives, and good vibes for everyone!
Let’s start off with the one we can likely all agree on: Nightmare Startup Bros are nothing short of mutated fish that crawled out of a lake situated between a Brooks Brothers and a nuclear power plant. It’s like their gills haven’t fully transformed into lungs yet and if they aren’t constantly in a state of flopping around and aggressively telling you about their business model, they’ll die. I recently went out for a party that contained a certified Startup Bro who all but chewed through the wooden bar tables in an effort to get us to care about his monthly subscription plans (though I confess that his sockless loafer look was on point). Who could possibly date this? I would not wish these FitBit-wearing human Voss water bottles on anyone.
There are two reasons that academia dudes make bad boyfriends: One, it’s likely that they…
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